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When you release the squeeze the bottle returns to normal shape and creates a vacuum. This vacuum will produce an instant hard-on as big as you can get.

It really works! I have tried many things and this is by far the winner. And you can see your big swollen penis and watch it cum.

The cum shoots out with unusual force and sensation because of the vacuum. Guest over a year ago In reply to dpccap on - click to read. Guest over a year ago is it weird that after I Jack u pee.

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The difference between using lube and not using lube is like having sex with someone who's turned on and wet and someone who's not turned on and totally dry.

It makes a world of a difference. As for things other than just jerking it, use your other hand as well. Do things like play with your balls or get to near climax and then slow down enough to keep it at that level but not fast enough to finish.

Just try different things, you'll find what you'll like most. But no matter what technique you use or position you're in, it's way better when you use some good lube like the one I mentioned.

Now if you have the money, step up your masturbation game with ones of these flesh lights. It basically feels like you're actually having sex.

Once you use one of these things, you'll never go back to using just your hand again Where ever you are in a private place best done in the shower stand up lift one leg up and out it against the wall so your penis is just out in the open lube up your hand and just jerk off trust me it feels amazing!!!

He needs to experiment on his own. Buy a banana, cut off the stem end and hollow out the banana with a spoon. Use lots of Super Glide and enjoy.

I use to cause im 11 inches. Update: no with a girl. Update 2: sorry not with a girl. Answer Save. These are some of my favorite jack-off methods!!

Best Way To Masturbate. What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.

Judy Johnson. It's not bad at all. I would argue that a Fleshlight is to sex what Taco Bell is to a Mexican banquet. It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it.

But you know what? When you're drunk at 2 a. The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor.

Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. It's not work; it's personal grooming. You're cleaning your pipes. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal.

Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms. I want you to put on your 3D glasses, hop on your hoverboard, and start eating astronaut ice cream, because the future of tugging on your tuber is now.

The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. After this, we can only design robot arms with gentle-yet-firm jacking motions.

And you know after the preliminary trials, the whole project is going to be set back when one goes haywire and yanks some volunteer's dick off with such force that it gets javelined across a room and embedded in a brick wall.

The Autoblow takes the basic premise of a Fleshlight -- a fake, semi-realistic vagina with a tail -- and adds a new dimension of awesome that the old Fleshlight failed miserably at achieving.

This dimension is, of course, autonomy. You can read a damn book while this thing grinds your organ. You'll probably need to balance it between your thighs a little, or wedge it slightly between yourself and a pillow.

But with only a little effort, you're doing your taxes, you're eating pudding, you're braiding your hair, whatever. Sky's the limit. Letsgasm Be mindful of which pudding you eat, however.

The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands. You just have to be comfortable with a Donkey Kong-esque barrel on your junk.

It has variable speeds as well, so you can go from lazy Quaalude mumble-munch to Furious 7 Vin Diesel power gulp. The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator.

Just a cacophony of churning, rumbling gears, and actuators slouching along towards Jizzrael. Orion Pictures "Live with me if you want to cum.

The other issue here is one of balance. The Autoblow's big selling point is that it saves you the dreaded carpal tunnel and wrist stress of all compulsive masturbators before you, but it's still not entirely hands-free.

It's got girth -- it's like you're trying to fuck a two-liter bottle of root beer that's really into it -- but you either have to hold it up or, as I said, find some way to balance it.

Or as a last ditch effort, you need to stand and place it at wang level with something to weigh it down and just be there, in the moment.

A dude with his dick in a blowie machine. Has technology improved the wank? Have our advances in texturized rubbers improved our alone time?

Is the handjob your grandfather's handjob? After thorough consideration, weighing all pros and cons, I have to conclude that traditional, you-and-your-dirty-kielbasa-claw masturbation is still the best form.

Ease of use. It's as simple as that. Sure, the Autoblow is an impressive sensation, but can you do that on an elevator with a hole cut in the pocket of your dress pants without anyone else noticing?

Not at all. Are you taking a few minutes out of your workday to "go to the bathroom" and bringing a Fleshlight? Do you dare smuggle a ham sandwich into a movie theater?

Steve Jobs. Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done.

These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials. Sure, maybe you could buy the Bullet home smoothie-making kit and use it a few times, but for the most part, you're just filling a plain old cup with vodka and drinking that.

It's simple.

Right before you are ready to get off, dip your Hot pornstars in action into that warm water, all while still masturbating. Maybe you have a slice of ham. Answer Save. Most people masturbate by moving their hand up and down. For you ladies, try to imagine something you really enjoy the feel of, repeatedly and rhythmically working your lady flower. Recommended For Your Pleasure. Not at Super skinny pussy. Plush carpet, sheets gathered, or blankets piled up in a ball are all totally fuck-able. This Allesandra snow is Yareel.com over Porn without signing up prostate gland.

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What took you so long? All of this junk can feel great on your junk. Hey lady, lend him a little mouth lube would ya? Older Posts. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

I never said that I guess you have to learn to read better Some of you need to do it I don't have that need right now. I don't see how that was a problem?

My problem is people that jerk off instead of getting women. I know you ALL have women But since you want new techniques You see you learned something new today O yea come back and make a post on how good it was and if wiggleing your fingers is better then the thrust method but, since you are new visit some of my treads to jerk yourself off tonight Are you sure you have a woman?

The way you are acting I would say your girlfriend was your hand. Listen Jerk off I don't care, eat your cum, rub it on your face, stick some fingers in your ss I don't know what to say Hey, i got this off gone in 60 secounds Sit on your hands untill they are completly Numb, then crack one off, its supposed to feel like someone else is doing it, i aint tryed it yet, i will do when i can be bothered.

Chiba, what the hell are you talking about bro. A few things you fail to realize. If I didn't wack off, I would go around raping girls. It's the only thing that stops me.

Secondly, about having a "girlfriend" as you put it. So what about having a girlfriend? It doesn't mean youre gonna go plug her 6x a day. Not all of us go around looking for dirty sluts.

Some of us actually have a respectable girlfriend who isn't a dirty whore, which is the only thing you look for.

Last edited by Gmav; at PM. Attached Images funny. Last Jump to page:. Supplement Wars! Bookmarks Bookmarks Digg del.

Your hand is one thing in a world of many things. Probably, like, things. What would those other things feel like if they were jerking your gherkin?

So you start experimenting. Maybe it's Halloween and you have a pumpkin handy. Maybe your beanbag chair sprung a leak and has an appropriately-sized orifice barfing beans in your room.

Maybe you have a slice of ham. I'm not saying there's anything inherently sexy about ham. I'm not saying you can't use turkey, or even tofurky, if you swing that way.

I'm really just advocating the texture more than anything -- which, upon rereading this sentence, is somehow even more gross.

Still, an industrious-yet-lonely man with a boner is basically a sexual MacGyver. If you're not picking up what I'm putting down yet, allow me to elucidate.

For this particular solo mission to Dribblesville, you need to take a slice of deli ham -- and in this case, you don't necessarily want it super thin -- and maybe pop it in the microwave for 10 seconds.

Maybe you want it in a piece of bread for added grip, I don't know. I don't want to be the conductor on this train to penile trichinosis; I'm just sharing information.

Point is, you wrap warm meat around your cyclopean flesh carrot, and strum away like Clapton performing his final concert.

This is a lot like regular masturbation, only the smell is much more off-putting. Have you smelled deli ham lately? Give it a try. Then rub it aggressively on your crotch for a few minutes.

The porcine groin bouquet is a bit sweet and a bit musky -- kind of like what you might expect from a corpse, or a Kardashian when no cameras are around.

I can't recommend it. Fleshlight has apparently sold over seven million units worldwide. There's a reason Fleshlight hasn't hired me as an ad man.

That aside, the inside of a Fleshlight is soft, squishy, and textured with various nubs, swirls, and ridges.

The basic goal of a Fleshlight was to make a vagina into a handheld device; an idea that will get exponentially creepier the more time you devote to thinking about it.

Fleshlight It's like if Ed Gein got into porn and collected just one body part. Patented in , the Fleshlight was the answer to the warm meat conundrum: How can I rub my chub in a way that is more exotic and satisfying than using my hand, but will not leave a slime trail of salmonella bacteria on my sack?

Many people claim the Fleshlight is even better than the real thing, at which point we're left to consider whether by "real thing" they mean their hand -- which of course they don't mean -- or an actual human vagina -- which, sadly, they do mean.

The existential sadness of anyone claiming that a disembodied rubber vag-sleeve is better than having sex with another person is something no Cracked columnist can dare take on without some serious alcohol to fuel the poetic ennui that will follow.

I refuse the challenge, because I have masters to bate and a soul that still glows a little when you say nice things to it.

Maybe one day, if I ever willingly take a nap on a back alley mattress and start agreeing with things Donald Trump says, I'll be able to revisit this idea, but until then, no.

No sir. Now, this isn't to say a Fleshlight is an unpleasant experience. If you have the chance, you go ahead and pork that little rubber fun hole.

It's not bad at all. I would argue that a Fleshlight is to sex what Taco Bell is to a Mexican banquet. It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it.

But you know what? When you're drunk at 2 a. The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor. Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection.

It's not work; it's personal grooming. You're cleaning your pipes. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal.

Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms. I want you to put on your 3D glasses, hop on your hoverboard, and start eating astronaut ice cream, because the future of tugging on your tuber is now.

The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. After this, we can only design robot arms with gentle-yet-firm jacking motions.

Gib dir auf xHamster die empfohlen Porno-Videos in der Kategorie way jerk I'll teach you to jerk off the right way JOI What a creative way to get yourself off. I am here to tell you most guys don't really know how to masturbate properly; Most men have become so used to watching porn or jerking off to fantasies that present during sexual arousal (in stead of losing yourself in fantasies, porn, thoughts). The better you get at this, the better a lover you will be too. Exemplo.: "Best of all, it's totally free so come log on and get yourself off!" To '​get yourself off' is a more discrete way of saying masturbate. Morgan Rain Shiny Ass Jerk Off Instruction JOI With Cum Countdown. Anleitung Check My MILF giving instructions how to pleasure yourself. Dessous. Our most important goal is to find the perfect sex stranger for you. So live your Record yourself while you are masturbating and see how your chat partner reacts​. You can also Masturbate live with him or her and come together. Sex Chat. Ich kann dir eine besondere Art beibringen, deinen Schwanz zu wichsen Du Deep pussey Muskeln, um dir Girls do porn 289 runterzuholen. Cooch TV You guys get sick of jerking each other off? Tube Porn Film

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